When you start to notice that you are becoming anxious, instead of focusing on the thoughts that arise out of that anxiety, try to focus on the physical sensations in your body. Try to find where the most intense physical sensation is at that moment and direct your attention to that area and sensation. Now, try to define the borders of that sensation as best you can, try to investigate it and see how big it is, where you feel it and where you don't feel it, where that line is in your body between where you feel the sensation and where you don't.
You will see very quickly that when you direct your attention fully and impartially to a particular physical sensation, it begins to dissipate.
Meditation teaches us that thoughts are not things we do, but rather, things that happen. Most of the time, these thoughts arise AFTER a physical sensation, and in direct response to it.
You are not your thoughts, rather, you are the thing that is observing the thoughts; the thing that experiences your life. Your thoughts are not your own, they are simply phenomena that nobody else is experiencing. You are not responsible for your thoughts. You are responsible for where you direct your attention.
You have no obligation to follow any thought process, you have no obligation to imagine possible negative outcomes or events in the future and experience them in the present moment. You can miss your whole life that way. If something unpleasant should happen in the future, so be it, and you will go through it that one time. There is no need or benefit to experiencing it in your imagination or fantasy now in the present moment.
Also, keep in mind that your goal or mindset should not be to make the sensation disappear, or to stop your thoughts from happening. Just to become an impartial observer of your physical sensations, and to allow yourself the freedom to choose which though processes to give your attention to.
There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with feeling anxiety. There is no way you should be feeling or reacting, there is only the reality of the moment. Don't be hard on yourself, don't be hard on others either.
Keep meditating! If there is a point to meditation, I feel like it is to get in the habit of realizing when you are absorbed in thoughts about the past or the future, and to bring your attention back to the reality of the physical present moment. You begin to experience the separation between yourself and your thoughts, and the realization that you can choose to either give attention to thoughts and make them grow, or allow them to pass like clouds overhead."
So I've been looking for a solid Yoga routine that would be good for flexibility, Muay Thai/BJJ, meditation ANDDDDD running. So, not such a tall order...
Well, believe it or not, I actually found something that hit every nail on the head. I was actually surprised myself to find something like this. I guess a lot of MMA fighters would perhaps do yoga since most do asian descended Martials arts. Perhaps not Indian, but I still find most Asian MA's to include stretches/yoga/meditation.
So very happy. Here it is.
Further to this, here is the stretching routine I use.
It's really awesome and the dynamic stretches are also very good. However, a word of caution, WARM UP, when doing the dynamic stretches. You don't need to for the relaxed ones, which lead to my downfall ( and my groins downfall).
Looking at fighting this year or straight after Christmas. Decided.
Quite clearly I have let things that should not get in my way, get in my way. It's time to stop grieving, pick myself up, and get back on the horse.
How's marathon training? I had to rethink it since I kept injuring myself. I'm now doing base training, which is a combination of smaller distances. I'm finding that its working well.
Body? Well, here are the pictures of me now. I've finally managed to put on weight, although I don't actually know how much I weigh. I'm not lean at all nor am I heavy enough. Trying to put on muscle and weight at the same time is proving quite hard, especially with the marathon training. But, progress. General ability is going up, I feel myself getting stronger.
Flexibility? I haven't been keeping up with my exercises nor have I been meditating enough. Time to turn that around.
Poker? Bad. Generally just making me feel disgustingly shit, especially since the weather is so good. I feel changes coming.
All pictures taken on the 2nd of Aug 2014.
So I still feel like I'm super out of shape. There is masses of room for improvement and improvement there will be. Eat clean, live clean.
My body is healthy, my mind is brilliant, my soul is tranquil.
"Seek a sanctuary, Respect it, as it is holy, Walk into it with a bare mind, bare feet and plain clothing, Nurture your body, mind and spirit through a healing ritual, Leave it with a pure heart until you find your way to it again. Master Jin Kwon"
Over the last two weeks, I feel like my tourny game has gone strength to strength, but I just can't seem to finish it up.
Two top 50 places in the Big 5.50, out of 6000 + fields.
Last night I cam 5xxish in the $3.30 Micro Millions. First was 10K, I got $20. I don't know what it is, but I need to fix it. I feel like I'm missing $xxxxx's of worth, easy, just because my end game is awful.
Disgusting red line, not sure why it's like that. Was playing only like 16/8 so I guess tight, wasn't getting funny on most flops. I was also playing normal tables. Would deffo recommend sacrificing volume for WR. Not only will it improve your game, it will also improve your BR
So I've deleted everything from my old blog and decided to start fresh. I even have this new shiny layout.
I decided to clear it all as a lot of things have happened recently in my life recently, I've also come a long way from my past ideas which I found to be very naive once I read them back.
So this is essentially the start, which will include all targets and currently where I am at.
Poker wise, playing 100/200 PLOSH, however I'm going to be getting staked and coached from a man called Ankush. Ankush is a specialist PLOHU player and he thinks he can have me winning practically straight away since I already play a lot of PLOSH. I start training on the 27th officially, but am already dabbling in 50/100 PLOHU. I expect to play up to the $1k BI within the next few months.
Targets - Crush 100 PLOSH by 1/10/2014.
Crush 50-400 PLOHU by 1/10/2014
Be able to play the PCA in January
Achieving those targets 1, Keep studying, keep playing.
2, at least 500 hands a day and lots of hours of strategy talk.
3, Save them FPP's up and Satty in.
Fitness - Boston marathon ( 20th April )
London marathon (26th April )
First job is to even get onto the marathon. I've enquired with Outward Bound, so as to run for their Charity in London. I'll take it from there.
Boston is more complicated, but I will have to wait till September to apply to work with a charity ( Probs the Museum of science) and then if that doesn't go to plan, I will have to wait till January to run the half marathon.
The idea is this. Every week, starting from this week, I will run N + 2 miles. so 3 times a week, I will be working towards that + 2 miles goal. I will start at 4 miles and report back.
Diet. My diet is actually pretty good at the moment. I just need to cut chocolate out, cut sugars out, eat more frequently in the day and drink more water.
- Strength and body
I'm currently following this programme http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/bodyweight-bodybuilder-the-mass-building-calisthenic-workout.html . The only issue is finding somewhere to do dips.
I'm starting at a decent level already, but the goal is to be able to do Advanced pistol squats, one arm pull ups and one arm push ups by April next year.
In terms of appearance and what not, I don't really care. My abs don't come through at the moment since I'm at like 13% body fat. After training for the marathons, I'm sure that really will not be a problem at all.
I currently stretch 3-4 times a week. It's mainly relaxed stretching with some isometric. I'm using this at the moment http://www.martialartsplanet.com/forums/showthread.php?t=89245 . I should be able to do the splits very soon and I can feel my legs shooting up. I will start building Yoga into my life too.
8 Minutes of meditation every day at the very least. I want to build this into more. I also want to consider using it while playing poker http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/26/psychology/using-mindful-meditation-poker-table-1451806/ .
I will be taking a language for 25% of my degree next year. Whatever it is, I expect to become fluent in it. Torn between Spanish, Mandarin and Arabic.
Travel. No set places. Just get the fuck out of the UK. You have the money, you don't need people to go with you, just get out.